Legendary Soccer Announcer, Cantor, to Turn to Chess

BREAKING NEWS: 

 Newly Minted Chess Announcer Andres Cantor 

Newly Minted Chess Announcer Andres Cantor 

Legendary soccer announcer Andres Cantor is moving to chess. After decades of "colorful," "brilliant," and "exciting" soccer announcing, the fifty-six-year-old Argentine announced yesterday that he is "getting older," and has, "enjoyed trying to make 0-0 fútbol (soccer) games sound exciting, but I am looking for something more exciting to spice up my golden years."

It is no doubt that Cantor will be missed by the soccer community as Cantor was the man with the trademarked "Gooooooaaaalll!!!"

As for the world of chess, it is "more relieved than anything," said chess grandmaster and professional chess announcer Yasser Seirawan when asked about his future co-host's mid-life switch. Recently chess lost its only ever, half-way exciting commentator, Maurice Ashley, to NBC Golf, and this has caused international chess broadcasts to lose viewers. "We have been receiving comments like, 'I feel like watching chess and listening to the commentary is akin to watching and listening to paint dry,' and 'I really enjoyed the chess broadcast yesterday until I fell asleep from sheer boredom,'" Seirawan continued, "I know I am not the most exhilarating man to listen to, so I believe more exciting broadcasts are coming with Andres's entrance."

Joining Seirawan's crew in the place of Ashley, Cantor will now broadcast for the legendary Saint Louis Chess Club's "International Chess Tournament Announcers" Division. "I am honored to work with such legends," Cantor commented, "I hope I can honor their company's, and really the world of chess's solemn and dignified heritage by offering spontaneous and exciting commentary."

Cantor is scheduled to join STL Chess in August at the 2018 Sinquefield Cup Grand Prix Event. 

For more information, check your imagination, as we are just horsing around with you!